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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27615440">death feels like a memory</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/spookyscarytrexes/pseuds/spookyscarytrexes'>spookyscarytrexes</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Brothers AU, Death, No shipping, Platonic Relationships, Sad, family dynamic au :), lulw, more characters may be added :D</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 03:06:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,037</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27615440</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/spookyscarytrexes/pseuds/spookyscarytrexes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>wilbur's not afraid of death, but tommy is.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dave | Technoblade &amp; Phil Watson, Dave | Technoblade &amp; TommyInnit, Dave | Technoblade &amp; Wilbur Soot, Dave | Technoblade &amp; Wilbur Soot &amp; TommyInnit &amp; Phil Watson, No Romantic Relationship(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>97</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. cold mornings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><strong>      UPON </strong>waking up, Tommy was cold. It wasn't anything like he'd felt before. Sure, Tommy had been cold before, like during winter when Phil would dress him up, bundle after bundles of jackets, scarfs and gloves all zipped up to keep him warm -- only for his two brothers, Techno and Wilbur, to rip the beanie off his head and steal his scarf and his gloves (jokingly of course), leaving the younger boy to trudge to school with cold fingers, a frozen nose and frozen ears, only to be gifted a free hot chocolate from Wilbur by lunch time because he felt bad. (Techno never felt bad). </p><p>      There are many other times when Tommy's been cold, like when Techno used to jump in puddles whenever it was raining, or when Wilbur shoved him into the snow that one time they went skiing. Tommy's been cold before, but not like this. </p><p>       Coldness creeps down Tommy's spine, causing him to shiver as he pulls his blankets tighter around him. His bed seemed lighter this morning and so Tommy rolls over to see if Wilbur was beside him in bed -- and he wasn't. For a moment, Tommy's heart stills as he frantically looks around his room. Where was Wilbur? He was always tucked beside Tommy when he woke up, Wilbur was <em>always </em>in Tommy's bed when he woke up, but today he wasn't. </p><p>      Tommy was cold, and now he knows why.</p><p>      Hesitantly, Tommy shoves his blankets away from him and stands up, his feet curling as he touches the cold floor. His foot steps are light and delicate, reaching for the shut door and opening it gently, peering into the silent abyss that was the hallway. There wasn't a single sound in the house, at this time, Phil was usually up, making coffee and turning on the T.V. for the morning news, Techno would be having a cold shower -- or a cold bath, depending on whether or not he wanted to annoy Wilbur. Tubbo was usually knocking on the door at this time, arms full of pastries he made with his mother the night before and Wilbur, dear old Wilbur, would be fast asleep beside Tommy. </p><p>      Tommy's first steps down the silent hallway feels like a dream, like he isn't actually in his body. The door to Techno's room was shut, usually Tommy didn't dare to open it, but today he did. He reaches for the door handle and pushes it open. The door creaks and Tommy freezes. Nothing happens. Tommy inches forward, lurking into the dark room where two beds lay on either side of the room. One for Techno, the other for Wilbur. One lay bodiless, deflated -- empty. One bed was <em>empty.</em></p><p>      Tommy didn't know what to do. He stood there, in the dark, eyes wide and whole body cold. Wilbur wasn't in his bed -- so that left the question; where was he? Tommy couldn't move, he stood there, staring at the empty bed, fingers clenching and unclenching. Tommy was still frozen as the doorbell rings throughout the house and then silence. Tommy then hears the front door open and Phil's quiet, exhausted voice and, surprisingly, Tubbo's voice matches Phil's voice -- something that never happened. Tubbo's voice was always bright and energetic, now, it was frail and quiet. </p><p>      The voices became louder and louder until --</p><p>      "Tommy?"</p><p>      Tommy can finally move. He turns and finds Phil staring at him, his eyes gentle but wide. Tubbo stood beside him, sympathy radiating from his body. </p><p>      "Where's Wilbur?" Tommy jolts at the sound of his voice. It was croaky -- like Phil's voice but ten time more older -- his throat felt dry and he needed to cough. Tommy realized how much his head hurts. Tommy feels cold. No one answers him, so Tommy points behind him, to the empty bed. "Where's Wilbur? He wasn't next to me and he's not here. Where is he?" </p><p>      The pounding in Tommy's head increases, it bangs against his forehead, itching to be freed from the cold consuming Tommy's body. His throat dreamt of cool water, medicine to heal up the wound left there from Tommy's crying. Tommy's body was now defenceless as the cold surrounds and kills everything fighting to keep Tommy's body warm. Tommy was no longer warm, he was cold. Colder than he's ever been. </p><p>      Tommy doesn't know why he's crying when he asks where Wilbur is again. He doesn't know why Phil draws him in for a hug as Tubbo stands off to the side, looking forlorn. He doesn't hear Techno wake up and slide out of bed. He doesn't hear Techno ask what is going on, why he's watching Tommy sob in Phil's arms, the door swung wide open now, he doesn't understand why he can't get a good fucking sleep anymore when this routinely happens. </p><p>      Its been three days since Wilbur died and Tommy still doesn't understand Wilbur's gone, <em>forever. </em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hi!! welcome to this story.. or whatever it is. i need an outlet for all my sadness after the recent events on the dreamsmp server!! this is all inspiration when philza comes on and kills wilbur, i wanted to write something sad and angsty, so voila, this was made!! please bear with me as i write chapters, some are going to be longer while others are going to be shorter (and more shitty lol) im excited for this story!! ok talk next chapter &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. blue feelings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>      <strong>LOOKING </strong>back, Wilbur doesn't exactly remember how he died. One moment he was there and the next. . he was still <em>there </em>but something was different. It was like everything had been drained from his body, like his soul no longer existed within himself. He was just an empty void slipping through thin air with no more purpose in life. He was now, officially, a damaged and lonely ghost. No one around to offer him comfort anymore. Phil wasn't there to hug him until he stops breathing, Tommy wasn't around to curl up beside Wilbur in bed and Techno, god, don't get Wilbur started on Techno. Although Wilbur didn't have a heart anymore, cracks still appeared whenever he thought of Techno; his other half; his twin. </p><p>       Once Wilbur realized he was dead, he felt lighter. He could finally walk, get off the old hospital bed and firmly plant his feet on the ground. He could finally fucking walk without getting yelled at. A small smile appeared on Wilbur's face, he thought death was painful -- but his had been painless, so as he stands for the first time in months, he feels more alive than ever. Slowly, he raises his fist into the air and pumps it gently. He could fucking walk again. </p><p>      No sooner had Wilbur felt happy, the pain struck him. It was like a thousand wasps had appeared and were repeatedly stinging him over and over, his abdomen cramped up and lightning zapped all the organs painting Wilbur's insides. Wilbur fell to his knees, clutching his stomach with all his might, desperately wanting the pain to separate from his body. Tears piled down his cheeks, wetting his dry face. </p><p>      Then came the sorrow as Wilbur's life flashed before his eyes.</p><p>      Wilbur's first memory; a warm Philza smile, Techno beside him holding a stuffed sword as he slept in the cot next to Wilbur. </p><p>      Techno sword fighting with Wilbur, Phil refusing to tell Wilbur and Techno who was born first as they fought over who was the eldest, Tommy's birth, Wilbur holding Tommy for the first time and Tommy puking, Tommy refusing to let go of Wilbur on his first day of school, meeting Tubbo for the first time and listening to him try his best to talk abut bees without stumbling over the words, Wilbur meeting Niki and Fundy, Techno hugging Wilbur at their mother's funeral, Wilbur sleeping beside Tommy --</p><p>        Wilbur was exhausted. Why did he have to relive all his memories? He wanted them gone, gone from his memory and then -- then -- then Wilbur finally remembers his last moments. </p><p>       He could remember the familiar smell of the hospital, the familiar sound of the ECG beeping, Phil's warm hand holding Wilbur's cold one, Tommy curled up beside him on his uncomfortable hospital stretcher, Techno staring at the ground in silence on the other side of Wilbur, far away from his dad and younger brother. Tubbo had just left, eyes red rimmed, nose runny and head hurting. Wilbur's heart ached for the younger boy, Wilbur had been an older brother figure for him and now, Wilbur was leaving them all behind. </p><p>       Wilbur could feel his life leave his body. His soul disconnecting from his body. He could see a bright light as he vision grew darker. His sense becoming weaker. He could no longer feel Tommy's warmth, Phil's warm hand, but he could now feel Techno's hand gently place itself on Wilbur's other cold hand. Wilbur uses the last of his energy to look over at Techno, his familiar brown eyes staring at Techno's bright blue ones, Wilbur wasn't ready to leave his family behind, he wasn't ready to leave his twin behind. . . </p><p>       Then, Wilbur's gone. <em>Forever. </em></p><p>       His heart flat-lines and Phil lets go of Wilbur's hand, pressing a button and tugging Tommy away from Wilbur. Tommy was a mess, crying loudly, shouting Wilbur's name, grabbing at anything he could just to stay a little longer, fighting off Phil -- but Phil was too strong. He tugs Tommy away, reaching up to touch Techno's shoulder but only to be pushed away from Techno, his eyes solely focused on Wilbur's lifeless body. </p><p>      Then, the memory fades from Wilbur's mind. He's no longer in the hospital, he's now walking behind his coffin. <em>Fucking great. </em></p><p>       Phil and Techno are carrying the coffin from the front, Tommy and Tubbo from the back. Although they're struggling, they do their best. Wilbur looks around, finding familiar faces, non-familiar faces. He finds old friends, new friends, best friends and acquaintances all gathered in the church Phil picked out for Wilbur's funeral. Phil, Tommy and Tubbo stood up the front, but Techno was nowhere to be found. </p><p>       Wilbur turns around to see Techno standing in the last isle, staring directly at the ground.  </p><p>      It finally hit Wilbur. Wilbur finally realized he's <em>dead. </em>He can't approach Techno, he can't stand beside Techno, shoulders touching, no words spoken between them but Wilbur's presence alone would've been enough for Techno to feel better. Wilbur finally realizes he can't be there for any of his brothers anymore. He can't comfort Techno anymore. Wilbur's ghost heart shatters, sadness artfully blooms across Wilbur's chest and he turns blue. Bluer than the sky, than Jack Frost. Wilbur was a lonely, broken ghost with nothing left for him anymore. He was at his funeral, watching his twin, Tommy's only brother left, drift further away from his family each day. </p><p>      Wilbur turned and left his funeral that day. He couldn't bear to watch Phil comfort Tommy who sobs in his arms, he couldn't bear to watch Phil try and stay strong for his family, he couldn't bear to watch Tubbo, who was like a younger brother to him, fight back his tears as he read out his speech he'd crafted for Wilbur, a speech Wilbur would be so proud of because he didn't muck up once. </p><p>       Wilbur didn't dare return to his funeral, everything about funerals were stupid, pathetic -- he'd been to one before, in <em>person. </em>His mother was his best friend, his mother was everything to Wilbur, to Techno, to Tommy and to Phil. Wilbur soon learned that everything good has to come to an end, so his mother died. She fucking died and Wilbur couldn't do anything to revive her, to get her to come back to life and hug Wilbur once more as he wakes up screaming in the middle of the night, Techno a few beds over jumping out of bed to alert their mother, then coming back and laying beside Wilbur until their mother arrived. </p><p>       Wilbur finally screamed that day. He screamed as he sat behind a tree, just outside the church. He wanted his life back, he desperately wanted to be warm again, he wanted to be painted a happier color, a color that wasn't blue. Blue was the color of sadness, blue was what painted Wilbur's ghost body, blue was his mother's favourite color, blue was Tommy's favourite color until their mother died. </p><p>       Wilbur screamed, and screamed, and screamed. He screamed until his throat couldn't go on, he screamed because he was <em>gone. </em>He was fucking <em>gone </em>and there was nothing he could about it. He was all alone, where were the ghosts you expect to see in the after life? Where was heaven? Hell? Where was everything? </p><p>      Why was he so <em>alone</em>?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>uh... teehee?? i am so Sad now :((( wilbur's all alone :( why am i doing this to myself?? anyways, i hope you guys enjoyed this meh chapter, idk what being dead is like so im making shit up. ok so i wrote techno and wilbur as twins bc there's a bit of a rift between people who say wilbur's the eldest and techno's the middle child or vice versa, and personally for me, i see both older/middle child energy in the both of them (i'm more on the techno older &amp; wilbur middle though), but i thought it would be fun/cool to explore the twins side of wilbur/techno that i haven't seen?? and i thought it would be funny if wilbur and techno never found out which was born first because phil won't tell them!! thank u sm for all the support on this!! i've also decided that this story will be a short one &lt;33</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hi!! welcome to this story.. or whatever it is. i need an outlet for all my sadness after the recent events on the dreamsmp server!! this is all inspiration when philza comes on and kills wilbur, i wanted to write something sad and angsty, so voila, this was made!! please bear with me as i write chapters, some are going to be longer while others are going to be shorter (and more shitty lol) im excited for this story!! ok talk next chapter &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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